More Than Common Sense...

Silence

2011-12-05T06:19:00.000+02:00

I'm a sucker for silence
The best groove in music comes from silence
Spiritual healing comes from silence
The funniest jokes come right after silence
The most intimate moments happen in silence
My best bud knows what's in my head even in silence
The greatest ideas pop up in silence
Wise words come just after a long silence

I'm more comfortable when it's silent
I enjoy staying at home when it's silent
I'd rather others speak and I stay silent
I find my peace of mind when i'm silent
I cherish moments in music that are silent
I wish there was a button in life entitled "silent"
There are those special conversations that are silent
The best break-ups are silent

My feelings for you will remain silent.

Listen:

From where I am

2011-12-03T08:47:00.001+02:00

I hesitated many times for I feel uninspired, again.
My mind is like a twirling machine. Ideas, thoughts, things i should be doing and am not, and things i'm doing that i shouldn't be. Voices. Oh yeah they're back, after almost 4 years of silence. They're back again. But this time i let them speak till they're done with what they want to say. And then i purge it all while i sleep.

I wish i could say things to some specific people that would change everything between them and I. But I choose not to. Because I have no energy for drama.

Sometimes I enjoy going somewhere where there's many people, a club for example, and just stand there in the middle of the crowd. And observe.
It's amusing, the amount of well educated and highly ranked citizens of the country who would just be longing for the weekend to hit the club and make total fools out of themselves just to attract the other gender. Doesn't have to be the actual action of "hooking up" but I've also realized that men and women both feel good when they're wearing or looking top notch and get recognized and stared at in a hormonal manner by the other.

I love my job as a musician. But the dream is beginning to fade away. Doesn't mean i'm giving up on it yet.

I'm excited about going to Germany in February.

My beloved Egypt is sick. I wish she gets well soon. I miss her.

Sometimes I miss being in love.

One thing I've learned though. Trust comes first.

I'm almost fully captivated by her, I wish she would notice how beautiful she is in my eyes. But then again, she shouldn't.

I'm going back to bed.

Listen:

Inter.Cultural Cooperation: Marseille - September 2011 - Phase 1

2011-11-02T14:58:00.000+02:00

Inter.Cultural Cooperation: Marseille - September 2011 - Phase 1: 17 y oung artists from France, Germany and Egypt met one week in September 2011 in Marseille. During this first week, participants cr...

Everything Happens For a Reason

2011-09-01T06:54:00.000+02:00

My relationship with this blog has been alternating over the past year and a half almost. It's probably because the reason I started blogging is the same reason why I sometimes feel like killing people. But then again, I AM a singer/songwriter, it's my full-time job, so I shall keep writing.

I don't always write music, I write bullshit as well, I write articles for fun, and I write here. And whatever I write here is either inspired by my life, or inspired by other people's lives.

It's amazing when a person can feel success, especially success in the one thing that person is living for. I am feeling it, and it is ecstatic!
Over the past 2-3 years my life has been taking dramatic turns, and because my number one belief is that "everything happens for a reason" I am seeing all the reasons fall into place like a brick wall in my face.

I'm grateful for everything. My band Salalem's debut album is hopefully going to be released on the 24th of this month in a concert I have been waiting for all my life.
Being Salalem's lead singer and front man is something that I enjoy doing, as stressful and tiring as it is, because this band has given me almost everything that I possess now in music. Salalem's music may not be my favorite music, but i took part in producing it, and in the end, because it is a BAND, the output becomes the outcome of different influences. I love the band and I will keep doing what I do until there's nothing more to do.

Also, I am slowly starting my own band, the reason why, as a 12-year old boy, i used to switch on my cassette player, with bon jovi as loud as fuck and hold my tennis racket as if it's a guitar and make-believe i'm on stage in front of a mirror. I have finished and recorded 2 songs so far and the third one is on the way, and as soon as i'm done with a set list full of my own songs, a band will be formed to take this little baby into the light and on the stage.

"Only the artist, or the free scholar, carries his happiness within him" - Beethoven

It's beautiful. I have never thought something in life could be this fulfilling. The feeling I get every time i go on stage and back down again, and everything in between is something that could be equally compared with multiple orgasms.

You may think i'm exaggerating, but well yeah, i don't care.

This is to remind you and me of who i am and who i will be.

Same person, only on a different level................................

above.

"It is the best of all trades, to make songs, and the second best to sing them" - [Joseph] Hilaire [Pierre] Belloc

Listen:

Misplaced Relapse

2011-07-06T06:40:00.000+02:00

Well it started off years ago.
In a class of helpless kids
No worries, years to long for, and fewer sins
but there was nothing then.
but occasional conversatin'
And it started off years later, again
With a phone call asking her how to cook pasta.
The pasta turned out delicious
Never realized what would come after
Everlasting hours of speech
Words never ended

I also found out she could teach
Lessons i later realized, I've never attended
Things rendered
A friendship she suddenly turned away from
and surrendered.
Days and years, they part away mountains

Come to think of it
You can't mount in two systems of the same species
They collide
they subside
and finally they hide.

Lust and sickness, led the relapse.
A revenge that was misplaced.
Never cared if worlds collapsed
Along came the guiltless face
In shear coldness.

Because I suck like that.

Listen:

iFloat

2011-07-02T06:00:00.001+02:00

I have been afraid,
Afraid to write because i had a feeling that my writing would not be enough,
Enough to purge every single feeling,
Feelings is what i write,
Right when i thought things couldn't get better,
Bitter things happen,
Again.

But then I remember where i was
And where i am now,
I am on a roll, going somewhere.
Where is that? I don't know.
But i'm curious.
So I'll go, i think, no, i know
Towards that sign, that says Backstage -->

And as i come closer, cheers become louder.
We gather up, say our prayers, like brothers
Lights are on, we're on a roll.
It's the only feeling more ecstatic than multiple orgasms
when thousands sing along to your song.
in harmony, louder than them speaker towers.

So i float.

Listen:

Surface

2011-03-20T04:50:00.000+02:00

What a pity
You're stuck in an illusion
Oh how pretty
You think they're all the same
Naive and superficial
What a shame
Stay asleep
I guess you're better off blind

Listen:
Garbage - Stupid Girl

The Whitest Flower

2011-03-08T03:42:00.000+02:00

This is totally irrelevant to the situation in the country, but fuck it I've always hated politics, never was interested in it, and am pretty much fed up of the mind games..... so here's something to get me out of the mood.... a new cheesy song I'm working on:

When I wake up every morning I think of you
Wondering what could be the best that I could do
To put a smile on your face

You give me super powers
You are the whitest flower

You know I don't have to be the best man in the world
I could also be so so bad with words
But you know it doesn't matter

Because you give me super powers
You are the whitest flower

Now I know this song is super dooper cheesy
But trust me when I say that it's not so easy
And I bet that now you're smiling

Because I have super powers
And you're the whitest flower

I'll try to always be the bestest at everything
As cliche as it may sound
For you're the queen of this kingdom and I'm the king
And today we get crowned

Now it feels so good today and I'm going around the city
Even though the situation's not so very pretty
Gathering all the white flowers for you

Because you give me super powers
And you're the whitest flower

Listen:
Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes

Back to the future

2011-02-24T04:05:00.000+02:00

And when the light of freedom shines upon a nation
When a sudden rush of adrenaline runs down millions of spines
When the impossible seems possible all of a sudden
Just because young men and women discovered what was long lost
The power of youth, the power of will
The power of wanting and not shutting still
I was proven wrong yes I admit
And I'm glad I was for I was blinded
Just like the rest. Who vowed to rest
While others went out and fought for liberty
And defended the streets when we ran out of safety
Look at us now, so strong and bright
So humorous and yet possess sharp sight
There will be no other moment like this to capture
A moment when a right path is drawn
That drives us back to the future

I hope for better days and will work for them.

Song:

Amir Eid & Hany Adel - Sout El Horreya (Voice of Freedom)

Things He Couldn't Say

2011-01-24T03:58:00.003+02:00

And she wonders where the complication comes from
She probably asks herself so many questions
Why he doesn't sleep at night
Why he worries like a baby left alone
Why he snaps like a thin wooden rod splitting into two
Why little things turn him into the opposite of the cold person that he is
And yet.... she falls asleep.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He lies in his bed... under the warmth of his covers.
He can't get no sleep.... he thinks... his mind unstoppable.
Like a roller coaster in his head, thoughts going round and round, up and down, twisting and twirling sideways.

He is scared.
of Everything.
He can't get no sleep, early responsibility shaped the man that he is today. Too early though, he can't get no sleep.
He worries... He hates being alone, he can't get no sleep.
He snaps, the accumulation of unwanted memories and visions of a life he once led, of being taken for granted and hitting rock bottom.
He becomes uneasy, he becomes itchy, he needs to sleep, he can't get no sleep.
And yet.... he needs to focus, to get through with another day.

And he hopes that when she wakes up, things would be clearer, better, and that he would get some sleep.

Song:
Joel and Clementine - Remember Me

To Educate or not to educate?

2011-01-19T06:36:00.000+02:00

All the activism, leftism, patriotism, burning self(ism) and Tunism aside, I would like to tackle an issue from a certain angle, the issue of weather or not a revolution can arise in Egypt.

I say no. Why?

Because as far as I know, It’s the educated middle class sector of the society who are actually able to think of, plan and organize a revolution. But, also as far as I know, around 54% of the egyptian population is below “poverty line” or whatever they call it. Which means more than half of the population, which means that the middle class is less than half of the population (obviously). Hence, in order to organize a ligit revolution, a huge number of the people under poverty line need to be educated in a way that sets their minds towards that (i.e. some sort of manipulative brain washing); and the only ones who would educate them are the so called activists of the middle class (i.e. organizing committee) of the revolution.

And the possibility of this I highly doubt.

I’m not being a pessimist… again, I’m a realist.

والله ولي التوفيق

Song:

Dhafer Yousef - Saaba

She leaves me in awe

2011-01-10T03:34:00.002+02:00

Like green crystals shining smiles to the sun
Like madness embraced in a simple kind of peace
Her eyes deliver warmth to my soul like no one
And she leaves me in awe

Reckless as i was, a man of my own
I'm suddenly in a world
Where hope rises with every dawn
And she leaves me in awe

She lifted what's left of my goodness
Put everything back, properly, correctly
And made it seem so damn effortless
And she leaves me in awe

As cliché as it may seem
But no words can describe
Such happiness as if from a dream
How she leaves me in awe

Every time she looks me in the eye
And every time we hold hands
And the one time I saw her cry
Before she left to another land
And every time she speaks
I fall into a deep well of music
Music that's favourite to my ears
Even when she does nothing

Still.... she leaves me in awe

Song:
Yiruma - River Flows in You

Dear Land

2011-01-07T07:19:00.000+02:00

On a cold winter night

People Died

People suffered

Women Cried

And men too

Foolish and naive

Life thieves

A city wounded

A country wounded

A nation wounded

But i still love you

and always will

Song:
Kurt Elling - My Foolish Heart

Guardian Angel

2010-12-31T17:30:00.004+02:00

In Reality
you are fictional
and in fiction
you could be as close to perfection as can be
for when we are united, an equilibrium is generated
one which cannot be reasoned
the only reason for which could be righteousness
for because of you
I am a good man
again
and because of you
I am the happiest i´ve been
in ages
and why am I not surprised?
for your name alone means joyfulness
And it´s precisely what you´ve brought into my life

You are the perfect ending to a rather unusual year
and the perfect beginning of a new year
a new life
and everything else that I am looking forward to

and like he said
You are my guardian angel.
And I believe you are.

You are missed, greatly :)

Song:
Dave Matthews Band - Dive In

She Walked in on Friday the 29th

2010-12-24T05:51:00.000+02:00

Music is what I hear when you speak
You smile and extraordinary things happen
A look that makes my heartbeat sqeak
In perfect harmony, we rise

Sometimes silence is more meaningful than words
You are a living proof, of everything that.s right
Like discrete third notes and chirping of birds
You create music of the sunrise

A new kind of hope
A subliminal feeling
You pumped life in to me
With a little bit of everything

Just like a message unsigned
Just like an arranged coincidence
Just like the me I couldn't find
You walked in on Friday the 29th
As if, for you, suddenly the world inclined

Come to think of it, this hasn't happened to me before
Here's a first time with you, for you
Here's to first times
Here's to me............... and you

Song:
Dave Matthews Band - You And Me

My first 2 Published articles

2010-12-19T21:32:00.001+02:00

Just as things begin to get better, I finally become a freelance writer for 2 magazines in Egypt. And the following articles are my debut published articles. And I've decided to post them here just for the sake of slam-shutting an open door that has been pulling me backwards. I owe this to my best friend Wessam.

Here:

The article above was published in December 2010's issue of Campus Magazine

The above article was published in December 2010's issue of What Women Want Magazine

Enjoy :)

Song:

Aqualung - Good Times Gonna Come

Just a thought

2010-12-12T17:51:00.000+02:00

If I throw myself into your arms

would you capture me?

or would you let me go?

Just like the others......

Song:
Embrace - Gravity

Like Magic

2010-12-06T21:20:00.002+02:00

It's like magic
You know when the sea meets the sky somewhere in the horizon?
It's like it's meant to happen, something human power has nothing to do with.
It's like the only good day in a series of 365 consecutive bad days.
It's like a glimpse of light after being in the dark for as long as you can't remember.

It's like a smile in a crowd that knows nothing but haphazard movements along with drums n bass.
It's like the only thing you notice when you're just too busy to notice anything.
It's like finding one right path in the middle of many wrong ones.
It's like effortlessly finding reason, and rhyme.
It's like inspiration out of nowhere.

It's like I can finally speak, in loud noise, and be the clearest.
It's like a song that has been forgotten for so long, and once heard, moves every organ in your body.
It's like I can look at her and feel liberated, yes, it's like freedom.

It's like life all over again.

Song:
Robbie Williams - She's The One

Truth... bitch

2010-11-18T22:05:00.000+02:00

It all adds up now
Knowledge is a bliss
Everything makes sense
Never more than this
Now I know
Now you know
And everyone knows
That sometimes truth is a bitch
Literally

Unanswered whys are now
Hysterical laughters
Look at yourself in the mirror
Smell the stench
The odour that you and your likes emit
Who said life isn't fair?
We all got what we deserved
Didn't we?
Now show me your smile :)

BB King, Billy Preston and Bruce Willis - Sinner's Prayer

Revival.... A Short Story

2010-10-25T05:12:00.000+02:00

It's amazing how the moon lights up the darkness in a way that makes everything visible. It's as if there's no other light; there actually is no other light but the light reflected by the moon onto the earth I am now walking on.

I am bewildered.

I am here, to escape.
Te restart, relive.
Reflect.
And conclude.

"In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary" - Aaron Rose

And I feel like my soul has been lifted to get washed;
Washed off the dirt that has been accumulating on top of my chest all year long; and then sent back to me again. Spotless.

And then I remember, moments I had deliberately forgotten. Moments of pure, innocent passion. almost 10 years ago.

I feel alive.
Once again light shines on a new day.
Silence... extreme silence.
The sound of fish jumping in and out of the water is plugged into an amplifier of nature.
Pleasure... pleasure for the senses.

"Silence is more musical than any song." - Christina Rossetti

Nothing to think about.
Nothing to look forward to.
No expectations.
Nothing.

And I swim in the beauty of nothingness.

Song:
Dave Matthews Band - So Much To Say

Eutopia

2010-10-23T07:28:00.000+02:00

I step on hot sand
I walk barefoot
No pain
I raise one hand
Remembering
Again

Under wood
Above ground
Half naked
Silent sound
I shed a grin-like smile
Eutopia

Water washes away the years
Sun melts down my fears
Inhaling a lung-full of hope
And another of light
New sight is born

Song:
The Doors - People are Strange

I Giggle to Laughter

2010-10-15T09:44:00.000+02:00

I'm not angry, just sad
At the value I've created for you
One that you've never had
I know they come and go
You're a beauty gone bad
Suddenly it's a comic show
Oh how some people are mad

And I giggle to laughter

At good days gone by
At love misused
At unanswered whys
At a soul abused
At a shameful cry
At how you're confused
At a woman so shy
Not one that has been used

I giggle to laughter and I don't care
It was all part of a written play
And I know life isn't fair
You're back to where you belong
I'm just glad I'm not there
She laughs, he laughs, they all do too
At those lame jokes, they dare

And I giggle to laughter

At good days gone by

At love misused

At unanswered whys

At a soul abused

At a shameful cry

At how you're confused

At a woman so shy

Not one that has been used

I will always giggle for me

And laugh at you....

Song:

The BeeGees - I Started a Joke

Passive Insomnia

2010-10-07T07:14:00.000+02:00

I'll take a deep snorting sniff through my nose and throat and fill my lungs with mucus and spit on them with power.

I'll take my clothes off, swim in mud, laugh and get run down by a garbage car and then go home and take a shower.

I'll smack your face in brick walls reinforced by steel and take you to an empty elevator shaft and throw you into space.

I'll buy a new car, drive it to top speed on rocks while listening to jazz music and tie the muffler tip to his shoelace.

I'll shout, jump, scream my lungs off, smoke 10 consecutive cigarettes, beat the crap out of them and have a beer.

I'm neither, sadistic nor aggressive, I'll do whatever it takes and go wherever I please just to make myself a bit clear.

I'll rub my face in dirt, sing till i feel my chords hurt, wear my favorite kind of shirt, and I sure as hell will blurt whatever I want to blurt.

Just for the sake of it.

Song:
Al Jarreau & Kurt Elling - Take 5

Days

2010-09-28T20:05:00.001+03:00

I sold it to a stranger
My promise to you
I sold it to a stranger and made some money
Even though I lost a few

I remember the days when sadness turned to laughter
when coffee was not just a drink
when a cheap egg sandwich used to fill hunger
and the days when a look from my eyes meant passion

I raise my glass and drink for days
days that have passed and
days that are yet to come

I have touched the moon on a full moon night
and from there

I will shine.

Song:
Everlast - Watch Me Shine

Today is different.... A Short Story

2010-09-12T20:25:00.001+03:00

"I hate myself without you," he says, holding the phone between his right shoulder and ear while he lights a cigarette. "I'm tired of running, and I'm just so tired of pretending!"

He put down the phone and stared at the breathtaking view from his hotel room window. A morning shower was due, and probably a cup of Egyptian tea. He's been craving that for a while, a feel of home.
Travelling around and participating in art galleries here and there has been a blast for him, overwhelming. But something was missing.

HE knew he would regret that call, he knew he shouldn't expect any response to the 18 messages he left on her answering machine throughout his tour; but today was different.

Today is always different.

Song:
Lenny Kravitz - Stillness of Heart

Garbage .... A Short Story

2010-08-25T07:05:00.000+02:00

So he left, and she's left all alone
She bumps and bounces
Turning in vicious circles
She's free, she thinks
Free in a trap designed by her own mind
Little did she know
That snakes are sometimes poisonous
She pretends to be careful
She thinks she's got it all figured out
He knew her worth, and she knew
No one else would know her worth
She reduces herself
Loses whatever is left of respect
Slowly
Snakes surround her
Turning their bodies around hers
She starts to feel uneasy, but it's too late
The poison spreads

And before she knows it

She's back to where he picked her up

A sorry excuse of a life.

Garbage.

And only trash belongs in the garbage.

Song:
Limp Bizkit - No Sex

Hey Stranger!

2010-08-20T21:57:00.000+02:00

Hey Stranger!
Fellow ranger
Hey stranger!
Life changer
Hey stranger!
We're in danger

Hey stranger!
Take me with you
Let me do the things you want me to

Hey stranger!
You interest me
Hey stranger!
Similarly
Hey stranger!
Why so cranky?

Hey stranger!

Take me with you

Let me do the things you want me to

Hey stranger!
Love me not
Hey stranger!
I change a lot
Hey stranger!
You hit jackpot!

Hey stranger!

Take me with you

Let me do the things you want me to

Song:

Third Eye Blind - I want you

The 18th

2010-08-19T03:59:00.000+02:00

"IT's the last time," he says, "None again, I promise"

she takes a deep breath as she remembers, and writes;

But I know that
No one would ever do
What he did for me
But I know that
No one would ever go
As far as he did
No lips would ever smile
at me like his did

No hands would ever touch me
As sincere as his
My lips would never know
better than his kiss

A child within a man
The strongest embrace
A firm heart that can
Float in a subliminal pace
Always a random plan
To swim into space

Maybe I should run away
It's too hard a game
For a dreamer like me to play
Will I look back?
Wish back?
Linger?
For this day

She takes another deep breath, turns on her side and sleeps in peace.

Song:
Aqualung - Strange & Beautiful

Always with me, Always with you

2010-08-17T17:50:00.000+02:00

And I turn my back again
At the things I had back then
I walk, I talk, I kiss and caress
I think, I sink, and randomly obsess

Why you? why me?
Why now? not then?
Why not the days back when
white was white and black was black?

I sink
deep into myself
into feelings i never knew i was capable of having
and i realize
there are a lot more things i am suddenly craving

I sink
as i watch the sun dip itself into Cairo
as i listen to this bohemian city call for prayers
i take a sip of water
and nothing in the world feels better than this.

I am myself

Dear Cairo,
You should know by now that my love for you is inevitable, so please don't abuse it any further.

Song:
Joe Satriani - Always With Me, Always With You

Dear Wael,

2010-08-08T19:57:00.000+03:00

I will miss you, dear friend and brother.
You were always a great example of an honest and brave man.
You lived, and will keep living in my heart.
I love you, man.

May your soul rest in peace.

A new book

2010-07-28T04:34:00.000+03:00

It's like something I've never experienced
It's like unpredictable spontaneity
It's like Long lost intimacy
It's as intimate as could be
It's shear happiness
No reason, no rhyme
No plan, no expectations

Keep it this way

It's almost perfect

But then it's beauty is risky

I shall not make the same mistakes
It's like a book I'm longing to read

But when I do, I read it slowly

To grasp every moment, every word
To make it last for as long as it could

For I know

Every book has an ending

But this book, I don't want to end now....

Song:
4 Non Blondes - What's Up? (What's going on?)

The Sufficient Amount of Soul

2010-07-20T08:45:00.001+03:00

Do you think it matters what you think?
What you've gone through is not little
Does it sometimes hurt when you blink?
from lack of sleep, excess caffeine and a soul that's brittle
The life that was once brought into me
like a fire that's constantly being fueled
That life now makes me see
feel
realize
fantacize
filter...
Yes, i have done my share of filtering
and the whole share of lingering
and I look at the sky and exhale the smoke that was trapped in my lungs
and I ask the Lord for the meaning
The meaning of a whole

A whole is the sufficient amount of soul.

Song:
Eric Clapton & John Mayer - Broken Hearted

The cure

2010-07-10T08:44:00.000+03:00

When you hit rock bottom. And you feel the last bone in your spine hit the ground. That's when you instantly get up and try to recover. You might stand for a while and scream an awe of pain, you might walk haphazardly trying to find something to ease the pain.

And when the pain goes away, you stand tall, you walk, and you know where you want to go.

And you go there.

Song:
Jamiroquai - Where do we go from here

Here is Home....... Home

2010-06-28T14:11:00.000+03:00

I'm here.
I've always been here.
Somehow you were too blinded to see that.
I'm close. Watching. Protecting you.
I'm so close that i can still smell the sweet scent of your skin.
It bewilders me.

It's all I ever wanted to do.
It's where I've always wanted to be. Right there for you.
To hold you.
To listen to you. Unconditionally.
Even when you have nothing to say.
Your breath alone sets my soul at ease.

I am lonely.
For I have lost my home.
A choice that wasn't my own.
All I ever needed was for my home to embrace me with love.
It's all I ever needed.
Sometimes I'm just fine.
Right now? I don't know.

I am reaching my arms out for you. Right here. Right now. Through words. Through the place that was inspired by you and only you. To hold you. For you. For as long as your body can handle. To take you in. Selflessly. Back home.
Home.

Song:
Michael Buble - Home

Soul

2010-06-27T06:35:00.001+03:00

If you listen closely, you will realize that your soul is actually speaking to you all the time. It has a voice, it's different than yours, you can't describe it, but you know it. You just know how your soul sounds like.

My soul sounds like a grumpier version of me. It's my best friend.

It usually speaks to me about irrelevant things. I enjoy its company sometimes. And sometimes i just want to kill it.

There's a happiness and sadness meter built in our bodies. Mine are adjusted in the middle, balanced, both of them. Like a sound wave that's flat.

I don't know if i'm going to do anything about it. I'm too tired to worry. I feel as if i've been running for so long and i just want to rest.

I just want to rest. Stop thinking. Relax

Song:

Eric Clapton - Change The World

Expressionless

2010-06-23T15:20:00.000+03:00

I get on that stage again. And just like every time, i feel power. The power to impact, influence and make you look, stare, and wonder what might be going on in my head.

you ask yourself, "Is he actually that energetic? Is he that happy? why doesn't he have any expressions on his face?"

Yes, my face is expressionless, and that is a bliss, it gives me power. For i know that no one can pass beyond my surface.....

but the ones i choose.

Song:

Sting - Seven Days

luck and intelligence

2010-06-21T02:31:00.000+03:00

luck is overrated

lucky people succeed momentarily, things come their way, and quite naturally, they make use of things that come their way.

intelligent people predict a good chance, subconsciously get ready, and when the time is right, they grasp every chance and make things happen for them.

who do you think wins in the end?

Song:
Aqualung - Falling out of Love

Moving on

2010-06-08T00:36:00.000+03:00

Here I am, miles away. Smoke, tea and my guitar on my lap. Memories.

She lies in bed next to me, breathing peacefully. Her eyes tremble as if she's having disturbing thoughts.
She wakes up and i pretend i wasn't looking at her, "Good morning!" she says with a smile, the smile that captured me when we first met.

I smile and say, "you should leave now, before it becomes too late"

Song:
Michael Jackson - Who is it?

Detour Ahead

2010-05-30T06:58:00.000+03:00

And once again, after 2 years, 9 months and 8 days, my life takes another sharp turn into the unknown.
It's scary, but i'm curious. My curiosity has no limits, I find out and realize things every day, and every day i formulate new ideas, new thoughts.
The people who at one point in your life were the fuel to your engine-like-soul, can suddenly become the itch that irritates you to the point of shear anger.

Anger.
It's an acquired attribute to me now, along with the basket-full of mixed feelings i possess at this very moment (i.e: pity, sadness, unconditional love accompanied by hatred, question mark, big question mark, bigger question mark, shock, disbelief, denial, and a few more feelings that i can find no names for).

"Beyond the horizon", she used to say. Little did i know the horizon had a limit, and that limit was way closer than i thought.

But my world has no horizons, it has no limits, the world in my head is as perfect as it is, and i'm in it.

I will stay there.

Song:
John Mayer - Heartbreak Warfare

Still Alive

2010-05-23T13:53:00.000+03:00

Sometimes, it's hard to breathe.

It's even harder to think about it.

But i'm still alive.

Song:
Pearl Jam - Alive

Back

2010-05-21T05:15:00.000+03:00

.... and then i take a gazing glance at you, and you smile as you walk down that isle. You smile and I remember the day I saw that smile for the first time, that smile made me strong, made me hold on, it made me suffer, willingly, it made me let go of all my fears. That smile brought me here.....

I will be back with more, I've been uninspired for a while.... I will try to get that back!

formspring.me

2010-04-28T16:32:00.001+02:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/jimyblitz

formspring.me

2010-04-13T16:51:00.001+02:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/jimyblitz

Misconceptions cleared.

2010-04-07T02:53:00.000+02:00

You may think that you know better than I do
That's just because, most of the time, I pretend I don't know
Because I enjoy listening to you explain things to me

I may seem boring, I may have nothing new to say or do
Well why don't you give me a hand with this
You know I can always make you laugh. It's the thing I do best.

Maybe what I do is not interesting to you anymore
But if you look at it from where I stand, you'll realize the beauty I see
Just like I still see the beauty in you

When everything about you makes me feel blue.

Song:
Norah Jones - Turn Me On

Everything?

2010-03-24T14:24:00.000+02:00

and then you become my habit
and then you become my love
and then you turn into a smile
and probably an angel from above

and then you become the light
and then you become a fan
and then you give me sight
and then you show me that i can

and what if i don't mind?
what if i don't care?
what if i decide to turn blind?
is life even that fair?

and then you become the future
and the song i always sing
and then you become my torture
and then you become everything

song:
Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me

Chronic

2010-03-19T21:07:00.000+02:00

It's like a pimple that hurts, it's annoying and it's not on a part of your skin where you'd like it to be. It's chronic, painful.
You feel the urge to scratch it, and the more you do, the worse it becomes.

But it feels good.

Song:

Muse - Feeling Good

An Infamous Encounter

2010-03-12T05:29:00.002+02:00

He turned around and said "what if I slap you on the face right now?"
"why would you do that?"
"because I feel like it?"
"Well, as long as it won't hurt" and she smiled.
He smiled back, then he took her hand and started walking along the pavement by the Nile.
They never looked back.
She took a sneaky glance at his face while they were walking. A glance that said "I love you, for everything that you are, and everything that you do"
He pretended as if he didn't notice that glance, and he could feel a wide grin within his soul as he took a deep breath of fresh, Nile-enriched air.

He then noticed, that they were walking in the exact same place where, almost 3 years ago, he realized that he was falling for her.
Things always happen for a reason.
She was his reason.

Was his reason.

Song:
Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World

I am Real

2010-03-06T04:34:00.000+02:00

When I need to write the most, I can't find the words. Words have been failing me for a while now. So I've decided to just write, and hope for words to come along.
Two concerts back to back last night, too many mixed feelings, happiness, pride, success, pain, confusion, anger, disappointment, bla bla bla
It's draining me.

I came across a quote that made real sense to me at the very moment. Unfortunately I don't know who came up with it:

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

I want to feel happy by default, I believe each person creates his/her own reality, and hence fits that reality into his/her life the way it should be. Happiness then becomes a result.
My happiness is different than yours, simple things, actually the simplest things make me happy. Small gestures, smiles, friends, intimacy.

I make my own reality, my reality is real, my life is a journey and I'm driving, I take the turns I want and hence take responsibility for my decisions, and if i go through a road and it's bumpy, I drive slowly till I'm through, and if it's a dead end, well, then how else will I have known?
I'm real

I'm real

Song:
John Butler - Better Man

Pretend

2010-02-23T06:04:00.000+02:00

that I'm just another passerby
that the streets are empty, brightly illuminated and smooth
that you are able to do whatever it is that you please
that she isn't depressed, hence her smile is real
that both of them live in a bubble, and they like it
that they are just happy the way they are
that he is lost, and she is his salvation
that he makes jokes to hide something within
that she is too good for him, and he is weird
that you are waiting for me on a road i'm never going through

make believe what you pretend

Song:
Al Jarreau - Take 5

That Mask

2010-02-12T16:28:00.001+02:00

So you get up on that stage and you think the world's going to change?

You try to sing some tunes and jump around in fake joy thinking "What the hell? they're just puppets and I'm in control!"

What if each and every one of those puppets is experiencing that same fake joy?
What if the music you play is their temporary painkiller?
How would that make you feel?

You put on that mask, and go on for the rest of the night....
"But I don't want that mask to grow into me"
So what if it does?
"I will then be someone else, not me"
So?
"I don't know......."

I don't know....

Third Eye Blind - Jumper

Storyteller

2010-02-11T05:15:00.001+02:00

....and then you turn away, and everything becomes fine. You look at me differently and still I'm fine. Because I'm no longer that sorry excuse of a human being. Neither here nor there.

I'm myself from another point of view, a distorted point of view.
But should I care?

My mic smells like your breath, even though you've stopped singing our song. I have a new song of my own now, I sing it alone, and i still smile..... by myself.

I drive for hours, It drives me insane. I look at the people around me and I'm surprised they are still able to function normally. But they do, and I smile.

Can you recall the joy? the shear joy?
It's all I can think of. And it's painful.
Forget what I say.... I'm just a storyteller.

If I ask you to sing me a song for a change, what would it be?

Michael Buble - Home

A Random Post with no specific point

2010-02-03T04:14:00.000+02:00

I've been away

exams, things.....

Lack of words, maybe?

Sometimes I feel like a little boy, I want to grasp every opportunity of fun and enjoyment that comes my way. Some people don't understand that.

Sometimes I disengage, in my own head, silence, and think of things that might make my life a bit different than what it is at the moment. Good different? Bad different? I don't know, just different.

I think I can handle anything, stress, pain, fuck-ups, extreme joy, excess passion, you name it. Because quite frankly, I'm not waiting for results anymore, I make my own results.

The past few weeks have been fruitful, Egypt winning the African cup again (3rd time in a row, 7th time in total), and it kind of makes me proud.

The feeling of success is amazing, it cannot be put into words.

Also, Salalem, my band, is going through a transitional "growing" phase at the moment and it looks promising, I'm psyched about what lies next.

And I have discovered that I have friends who, undoubtedly, make my days happier. It's a different kind of love.

I have one year left to become an Engineer, and quite frankly, i still don't know what I want to do next. I mean the outline is there, just not the content. It's scary, but challenges have always been one of my hobbies.

Now I'm on vacation for 3 weeks, I want to go back where the world stops. And I want to get on as many stages as I can, and perform. I want to see my parents and I want to be as productive as can be.

Join me.

Today's song is a song that describes me:

Metallica - Turn The Page

Shut down, Rest .... Restart

2010-01-20T01:43:00.000+02:00

And suddenly i look it in the eye....and actually picture myself on the other end, waving back at me and probably smirking.

"Ey you!!

Wha?!"

flashback.....10 years ago

Who's that? do i know you?

So many people I've known, places i've been, in my head, in person...

things i've done

and it goes on

i close my eyes.....asleep but not asleep....I can hear them singing and dancing 10 feet away

I can listen to their conversations.....but they're just mumbles to me....and i drift.

I drift into a world of nothing....blankness and divinity all in one.

And for the first time in my 24 years, 6 months and 14 days... I was allowed to stop!

STOP thinking

STOP wondering

STOP remembering

STOP dreaming

As if my brain had been restarted, rested for 3 hours....and put back on again.

And I'm a new man.

Today's song:

Cold - End of The World (Acoustic)

I could be wrong.

2009-12-29T04:25:00.000+02:00

Yes i could be

I could be thinking the other way round

I could be dwelling over a faded sound
I could be

I could be misinterpreting everything

I might not even have the true ability to sing

I could not need the things i think i need

I could need less
I could be less of a mess

I could let go and smile
I could be

I might have needed the bigger picture

The "new" bigger picture

Because the old one is too outdated

The new big picture seems to look good

I think i'm positive it is

I could let go of the old

and grasp the new

I could grow up.... i should grow up

Maybe things are too complicated because i let them be so

I should be the music to a new song
Telling everyone that I could be wrong

Today's song:

Sixpense None the richer - Kiss Me

My favourite Poem

2009-12-19T04:57:00.000+02:00

The following is by far the best poem I've ever heard:

"I fear thet I will always be
A lonely number like root 3
A 3 is all that's good and right
Why must my 3 keep out of sight
Beneath a vicious square root sign
I wish instead I were a 9
For 9 could thwart this evil trick
With just some quick arithmetic
I know I'll never see the sun
As 1.7321
Such as my reality
A sad irrationality
When arc as what is this I see
Another square root of a 3
As quietly come waltzing by
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
And with a wave from magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
And love for me has been renewed"
- Kumar Patell "From the movie Harold And Kumar"

I wish i had the creativity to write you something as meaningful and expressive like this poem Sara.

I love you and I don't know why
I love you more than the times I try
To show you how my love is intense
I love you more than anyone else
I love you more than common sense

Today's song:
Bob Marley - Could you be loved

Back to Life

2009-11-25T03:33:00.001+02:00

I won't start about the Algeria issue, the only thing i liked about that country was their music (some of it). Otherwise, they could all go to hell for all I care. Egypt has been hurt and broken, and it's making all the cities look sad. I can feel it in the air in Cairo and in Alexandria.

Three things to make us feel better:

1- Public apology by the Algerian Government.

2- Bye Bye Algerian Ambassador in Egypt.

3- Banning all sorts of activities with Algeria for at least 2 years.

No violence needed, just sane, "humanly" actions. And I think that's the least that Egypt deserves. In the end, that is just my opinion.

I went out with my Alexandrian friends today, it was so much fun, fun that i hadn't had for a while.

We went to the movies, watched "The Surrogates", it was a good movie, but i think Bruce Willis is that same character in Die Hard in all of his movies.

After movies we had a seafood massacre dinner at my favourite seafood restaurant in town called "A'arous El Bahr" or "Mermaid" in English. Aaaah it's 6 hours later now and i'm still full! Dehydrated... but full!

Then we went to a coffee shop to play cards.

So much fun and laughter, I had missed that for a while.

Life took me away, responsibilities, maintaining stability and ensuring a stable future, work and University.

It was just simply lively and lovely being around my favourite people and enjoying a good time in their company.

We were debating an issue while having dinner, a friend said : "A woman would marry a guy who doesn't have a stable future or isn't rich or can at least maintain HER lifestyle ONLY if she loves him. A woman would also marry a guy who is rich and can buy her everything she wants if she doesn't love him and/or neglect his faults for his money"

what do you think?

Today's song

Ray Charles - Yesterday

I wrote this 2 years ago...and i like it

2009-11-16T03:07:00.001+02:00

It's times like these when you realize where you stand, times when you figure out that, somehow, you're different, weird maybe, compared to the people surrounding you. Why do you feel so out of space and ahead of time, when you know that it's just that time passed by you leaving you back here with them, trying hopelessly to fit in.......and smile?

Smile....such an old verb it seems, do you remember the last time you uttered a sincere smile? I bet you don't even remember who or what caused that smile.... or maybe you do, it doesn't matter either way.

Do you even care about what they think of you? Ironic questions that can be answered only by sarcastic visions of what might have been. Relax, don't dwell. Time is only teasing you, playing a cheap game of hide and seek where you are the one hiding subconsciously and unintentionally, and time seeks after you but only when it feels like it..... it just enjoys that expressionless look on your face.

You think of joy yet now your greatest joy is a cigarette and the voice of Astrud Gilberto singing some fine tunes of jazz music playing in the background while you reminisce and reflect. Back then, your greatest joy varied according to time and place, and you had the ability to take control over your joy, know when and how to truly laugh and when and how not to. Laugh?? Yes, i see now before my eyes the laugh that was merely the cause of other people's laughter, now it got shortened down into a fake giggle.

Then you come to realize that it's not them nor is it time that caused your sorrow, well, actually time played a major role in your sorrow because it took away the good times, when you used to belong, and left. Way ahead of you. But come to think of it, you also grew, mind body and soul; you got caught back where you really don't fit much, you let time pass you by while you took care of the worthless....and u were left blank.

So, maybe it's mainly your fault that you can't smile anymore.....or maybe it's just another irritating daydream.......... I should get back to my coffee...cheers!

Today's song is a song that makes me smile:

Eric Clapton - Layla (Jazz)

I won't

2009-11-06T02:51:00.002+02:00

I'm left with no options. It's like starting all over again, only this time I'm only allowed to sit back and observe, I have no right to comment, to object, to be against something, even if I'm right nothing I say or do will change a thing. So I give in, I sit back, I relax and breathe, listen to music in my head. And shut up.

I won't complain

I won't express my anger, disappointment or any excessive feeling.

I won't give advice unless asked to, and when I do, I won't discuss my advice, because it won't make a difference anyway.

I won't dwell, I won't love too much, nor hate too much.

I won't show any signs of my yearning, my longing for anything.

I won't show any expressions on my face.

I will keep smiling.

and I will, I WILL ALWAYS keep up the music. It's all I have, it's my savior, my shelter.

Today's Song:

Cold - Bleed

I rant!

2009-11-02T02:56:00.000+02:00

I like to believe that i exist in more than one dimension.

I think about everything, altogether, all at once, it confuses me.

It's who I am.

I like to write in this form, fragmented sentences, it makes me feel organized.

I'm a clean/tidy freak.

I'm a freak.

It has been raining all day today in Alexandria, I feel in peace.

Rain is beauty, beauty is a word that shouldn't be defined, it's a state of mind.

I smoke a lot these days, i don't like that, too much stress.

I try to be perfect, I'm a lousy perfectionist.

I miss a lot of things that don't happen anymore, because life is a bitch.

And yet life goes on.

I want to go away. But I love this place.

Egypt is like a chronic disease, it doesn't go away, it stays till you love getting used to it.

I want to be 20 again, and embrace it.

Love is underestimated, I think.

I believe in Allah.

I believe in myself.

I believe in you.

I am always going to be a musician, even if I don't practice music.

I believe in music, it's a more powerful language than any language.

Tomorrow is a new day, I hope the rain stays, and the evil goes to sleep.

Rain is a larger form of love. Love between the sky and the land.

Today's Song:

Astrud Gilberto - Gentle Rain

Ramblings of sleepless soul

2009-10-22T04:05:00.002+02:00

I take a drag of smoke
It's the last cigarette today

Yes, it wasn't a joke
It happens almost everyday

It's a joke that isn't funny
It's rather sad actually

It's a day that isn't sunny
It's bedtime again finally

She lies while she's crying
I pretend I'm not listening
Then she cries while she's lying

And then I believe everything

I'm drained in my own emotions

Stained by random mistakes
I scream in haphazard motions

The soul takes what it takes

Sun is shining
It's a brand new day

That thin purple lining
Is almost fading away

Today's song:
Jon Bon Jovi - Ugly

A letter to a soulmate

2009-10-16T04:09:00.000+02:00

Dear Soulmate,

I know I've been saying this for a while, but yes, you've been gone for a long while, I hope you come back soon. And if you don't ever, I hope you're in a happier place, and I would like you to know that I miss you truly and I think about you more than I ever thought I would.

I wish you were here now, sharing this special moment with me. I'm on a boat, sailing through the Nile of Cairo, along with my dark sailor friend from southern Egypt. Sharing a fruitful conversation of silence, you know, when two people just sit there and absorb the air. That's what i'm doing right now, absorbing the air. Breathing in beauty and remniscing.

It's late at night, yet the Nile is as bright as could be. I come here by myself quite often. It's the closest i feel to you, dear soulmate. And it brings a smile to my face everytime I take my Nubian friend who, by the way, is called Salah. He sometimes just sits there sailing, smoking a cigarrette with me and just out of nowhere, starts to sing Nubian songs, songs about a culture that seems so appealing, so different even though it exists in the same country we live in.

I know, if you were here with me now, you'd be smiling just as widely as I am.

Dear Soulmate,

I wish you love, I send you all my love, I wish you peace and a prosperous life.

And "When" I see you again, I'll just shut up, and let the silence speak.

Yours Sincerely

Mohammed J.

your song for today:

Michael Buble - Everything

Morning light

2009-09-30T17:01:00.000+02:00

It's such a beautiful day outside

I'm tempted to take you for a ride
Down a highway inside my mind

It's a bumpy road in my head

All the colours seem to be red

And all the pretty people have fled

Into the beauty of the morning light

Clarity

2009-09-26T04:41:00.000+02:00

I've been away. I went to see heaven on Earth. South Sinai. (will post pictures soon)

I have learned to appreciate this country more.

I have learned to think straight, and know

I now know

Who I am

What I want

Where I want my life to go.

And I will do everything with a smile.

I will accept the outcomes.

I will never ask myself "What if?"

And I will keep smiling.

The Air of Cairo

2009-09-18T03:27:00.004+02:00

It's exceptional
How the wind blows through your hair
That I could only pause and stare

It may be Sceptical
How the wind always blows in the right place
Showing hidden brightness on your face

It's like it carries around your heavenly scent everywhere i go
It's like it passes through imaginary meadows into icy snow
It's like it guides the stream of the river telling it where to flow
It's like it teases all the flowers making them stand in woe
It's the breeze that flows through you into the air of Cairo

We walk, or perhaps we run
Into a life, one that makes us one
A journey with an everglowing sun

Raise your head, smell, or rather taste the breeze
Lay down next to me and let time freeze
Let the wind blow mellow music into our ears

Here's your song for today:

Aqualung - Strange and Beautiful

Quote of the day!

2009-09-17T08:34:00.005+02:00

"Loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable; that one false step involves her in endless ruin; that her reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful; and that she cannot be too much guarded in her behaviour towards the undeserving of the other sex." - Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), Pride and Prejudice, 1811

I have been in love with this quote for a few days now, I had to post it as a reminder for all women not to let go of their virtue for any reason whatsoever.

Yes, you lose your virtue, you lose yourself.

It goes for us men too in my opinion.

Here's your song for the day:

Dave Matthews Band - JTR

I've just noticed.... I'm 24 and 2 months old today!

Have a pleasant day, and don't forget to smile :)

Found something so precious to me

2009-09-15T05:58:00.001+02:00

I was going through my old notes on facebook and i found a post that was written by my girlfriend Sara and I, before we even got together. It's amazes me now that me and her could come up with something so intense!

And yes! we bonded on an intellectual level and sometimes we still do! Here it is:

PS. This was written on Monday, July 23rd 2007 at 2:00 a.m. Cairo Local Time.

Every letter of every word keeps ticking in my head, you know when words are scrambled in your head and all of them just sum up to the same meaning? but who will do the unscrambling? i don't think i even have the will to do that at the moment....

This is not an attempt to set straight all of the words in my head, it's just an attempt to set things straight within me, start writing again, not poetically, but intellectually, yes, connect intellectually with my inner self.

Countless attempts are made and nothing would, could satisfy you...countless maneouvers...countless techniques and you still don't like what you read;
over and over...cross that out, edit this and add that and it's not good enough just yet.

People say i'm blessed with good vocabulary, i think i'm not. I'm just a person whose only refugee is a couple of words written while uttering a couple of sighs in the process, yes, because unfortunately most of my words come out of sadness and shear unhappiness.
In times of doubt and questioning and in those in search of that far off hiding place in my head- in fact when i'm happy, pen and paper are abandoned, mostly. No coincidence would it be, a tear drop on paper...and the ink would bleed.

It's not that i'm an unhappy or depressed person, if you know me quite well, you'd never relate my writings to me, because when i'm outside with the world, you'd constantly hear my laughter and see my shining yellow teeth from miles away, but then, the difference between happy and unhappy is actually a thin line, just like the difference between genius and insane; or that between loving someone enough to hate them; the rage that builds within you for not being able to meet the need...and it leaves you weak. You hate being weak.

Speaking about weakness, have you ever felt so weak around someone that you could swear that this weakness could instantaneously be turned into strength only if your need from being around that person is matched?
So weak that you believe that in their presence you find your strength, in their embrace...your long yearning for home. In that moment home is turned into that relative concept, something more than just a place.
Oh well, forget about it, too complicated, or maybe i'm just overreacting to the thought. I think no one is weak until proven otherwise.

And what's that talk about "the best things in life are for free"?? I must say this is the most gibberish i have ever heard, things that come for free go away in a glimpse, things that are earned are those that matter, the more you fight to get something, the more valuable it is to you and the less likely it is to be lost.
If someone is there for you whenever, no matter what happens between you, if you know it that no matter how you treat them ,or whatever you do to them they're always going to be there for you, it's only natural that you take them forgranted. It's not a matter of ungratefulness, it's the fact that they unconditionally spoil you...... because they were always there "For Free"!

Tag!!

2009-09-14T17:07:00.001+02:00

I was tagged by BaTaBeeT to do this:

The Rules of the Tag:

The point is to say a heartfelt ‘Thank God’. So, you’ll have to choose power blessings, ones that really really are endowments, that you couldn’t possibly feel deeper gratitude towards God for. Ones that you feel grateful for, everyday.
After each blessing, you’ll have to choose one word to describe your state. Examples: “Happy”, “Excited”, “Thankful”, “Humble”. Or, you have to choose any word that comes to your mind after it anyway – one that’ll summarize it all.
The ones you’d choose are preferred to be special to you, for instance, we all know that ‘Eye Sight’ is an immense blessing, and of course we can list it, but preferably if it has a special meaning to us.
The number of your blessings should be between 5 and 10.
After finishing your list, you should write the word: “El7amodellah” in bold, and say it out loud.
You should tag as many friends as you can – even the ones who don’t blog, inform them that they must comment.
After that, well, all you do is to be happy and to have ‘Reda’ :)

Here's The List of Things i'm Truly Thankful for:

- I'm thankful for Being a complete human being, in good shape and health. Raised within a complete family. This makes me feel grateful.

- I'm thankful for the special people surrounding me. who have faith in me and who support me all the way.

- I'm thankful for being an artist, even though i'm infamous, it still makes me feel special because artists are different people. and i'm different.

- I'm thankful for the ability to love unconditionally. which frustrates me at most times, but for that i'm a special person.

- I'm thankful for being able to inspire and be inspired. I'm inspired by everything i see.

- I'm thankful for Music. Music is the food for my brain, and my brain is always hungry.

- I'm thankful for you.

- I'm thankful for Laughter. Smiles. and Happiness.

- I'm thankful for education.

- I'm thankful for all the times i failed and stood up again, for i could have never been able to learn better.

- I'm thankful for Tea. I can't live without tea.

so i say THANK GOD for everything الحمد لله على كل شيء

I Tag Sara, Anna, Sarah and Aya

I've also decided that from now on, with every post i will add a link to a music video that i feel is special to me while i'm typing the post.

So here's your song for today. Enjoy!

John Mayer - Free Fallin'

Gratitude

2009-09-13T05:49:00.008+02:00

"Silent Gratitude isn't much use to anyone" - Gladys Bronwyn Stern

Be thankful. For you are blessed.

You have been blessed with a life and a choice as to how to live it. You have been given options despite the choices you had to make unwillingly. But in the end, it's your life and however it turns out, you are the one who shapes it however is convenient to you and everything around you. Others have no life and no choices.

Be thankful. For you have been blessed with health.

You have been blessed with a body and a soul. Cherish them. Don't missuse them. For they are your most powerful tools. Till the day you say goodbye.

Be thankful. For you have been blessed with Love.

You have been blessed with love, love is everywhere, love and be loved, love is the nutrition for your soul. Let your soul nourish and embrace the love around you.

Be thankful. For you have been blessed with family and friends.

You have been blessed with people who accept you for who you are. Your goods and bads. And love you all the same.People who miss you when you're away. People who leave a mark on your life forever. People who inspire you. People who make you smile. People who make you cry. And maybe a special person within these people who would do anything possible to make you happy. Know these people. Keep them. Love them as much as they love you. And always make sure they know you are thankful for their presence. Because you never know who will stay. You never know.

Be thankful. For you have been blessed.

Count your blessings. They are surely endless. Keep the good memories. Kill the bad ones. Be grateful. And never forget to show your gratitude. It's healthy for you, and for everyone and everything surrounding you. Because Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.

Be Good. Be happy. Be Thankful

Sometimes....

2009-09-11T06:21:00.001+02:00

Sometimes life just surprises u with roads you've never thought of taking

People you would have never thought of knowing

Sometimes life scares you

by giving you too many options

by taking away things you've wanted to have forever

but if you come to think of it

these roads

and those people

might just be the things that you need

because eventually the end of that road could be your happy ending

and eventually you would find yourself within those people

So Sometimes.....

it's ok to accept what life offers you

Things she told me (3)

2009-09-10T05:04:00.002+02:00

"I love you. And I love how you laugh"

"I only wanted to kiss you on the forehead"

"I believe you're infinitely strong. This too shall pass. It was home seeing you laugh today, i miss your smile..."

"I just miss you"

"I'm in such a good mood, i wish you were here"

"You're my life's greatest blessing. I love you, eternally."

"Maybe i just miss you and you're my only reason to be optimistic"

"I'm happy i have you to call the love of my life, as corny as that sounds."

"simply seeing you makes me feel better."

"I'm insanely in love with you"

"I need you."

"I'm getting too attached to you"

"I would never be able to put definition to how i love you... You redefine that for me in subliminal ways and in the smallest of gestures."

"You could've cried in my arms"

"I want to kiss you"

"I made a boy read!!"

"Sorry for being so childish and clingy"

"Do you want me to cook for you?"

"I'm sorry i overlooked the fact that you're tired"

"I have a screaming urge to love you and stroke your hair to sleep.."

"Mohammed i feel clingy and i hate missing you"

"I think I know the reason behind my good mood. Thank you for being my family and my life"

"I even love our silences"

"Why can't you be here to run your fingers through my hair till i fall asleep?"

"No one is capable of loving you as much as i do!"

"You'll be here before I miss you to death right?"

"Get some rest and dream of me? Daydreaming would do if you have no time to sleep!"

"Did i cross your mind?"

"I could feel it yesterday how much you love me. It was in the air, floating along the Nile, and it was encircling me. Thank you.."

"What if it makes me miss you and cry like a baby?"

"I smell like you"

"I can't sleep, I need to cuddle"

"I'm literally seksek deprived!!"

"I want you to tell me the shade of yellow i wore in your dream"

"You better save up for the engagement rings!"

"I want us back.."

"You called me baby! I love you!"

Dear You,

Where have you gone? It's been so long! and I miss you, I really do.

There's this person where you used to be. I don't like this person. Please come back.

I've been so lonely, and reading your old messages makes me miss you even more.

I know I sound weak saying this. I put up your old messages on my blog in hopes of you reading them and knowing how much I need you. I'm all alone. I need you more than ever. You were my everything and suddenly you left.

If you're happy where you are and you won't come back please tell me. So that I can go on with my life and put our good memories in my backpack. Just know that I will always love you. And I mean it.

With all the power I've been given to love

Yours Sincerely

Mohammed

Back home, starting over, love?

2009-09-08T15:15:00.000+02:00

So I came back home on Saturday and what a wonderful trip that was, Istanbul is definitely on the top of my favourite cities in the world so far (the ones I've been to). It's such an eclectic place with an amazing weather and so much art everywhere. I just loved it. And I would love to go back there someday for a longer trip, maybe with Sara, she's going to love Istanbul I know it. Here are some pictures:

I don't know the name of this mosque

Istiqlal Street

There's pretty much a starbucks everywhere in the world

I haven't been doing much since i got back, spent 2 days in Cairo mostly with Sara and her family, I feel at home with them. And I have also been catching up with my band. We have a few important gigs coming up and we're getting ready to produce our first album to be released by mid 2010. That's Exciting!

Now Sara, as corny as this may sound, is the love of my life by all means. She is a very complex/beautiful/pure person who is the only person in the world who can make me feel extremely happy and feel extremely sad/mad/upset. But I do know for a fact that no one has ever or ever will love me as much as she did. She redefined love for me and for that, and so many other things, I do love her unconditionally.
She got accepted today at the American University in Cairo to do her masters, I am happy, proud and happy, and I am very proud of her, no words can explain really :)

We are getting engaged soon....
I know we are....Life will smile at us again, at me.
And keep smiling....because I have had enough, really, enough!
And I want to be happy...and I want her to be happy, happier than she has ever been, and stay that way. Me and her, like it used to be, like it should be.

Dear Life,

Please smile back at me.

Thank You

Yours Sincerely,
Mohammed J.

Istanbul

2009-09-03T08:38:00.000+02:00

My flight is around 3 hours from now, I'm sitting at a coffee place in heliopolis waiting for the girl to come spend some time with me and then drop me at the airport before she goes to work.

This morning I feel so fresh, my mood is bubbly, not only because i'm going to Turkey for the weekend but because I think I've become more aware of what I want (as in what i want to do with my life) . I still haven't figured it all out yet but I think I'm getting there, which made me wake up this morning with a smile on my face. And i feel psyched.

It's my second time to visit Istanbul, only the first time it was a 18-hour transit so i didn't really get to "visit" the City. This time i'm staying for 2 days. I'm singing in a Sami Yusuf concert (I'm a member of his Choir).
Being in Sami's band is a great experience for me, not only do I get to tour around with him, but I also get to educate myself very much musically, which really shows when i apply what i learn in the music i make with my own band Salalem, and in my other side projects in music. It's fascinating really.

Now Istanbul is a very beautiful city in my opinion, European but Oriental, Capital of a Muslim Country with a western taste. I've always been a fan of eclectic things, and Turkey IS an eclectic Country.

The only problem is that most Turkish people i've met when I was there the last time don't really speak English, and I am not familiar with the Turkish language. So it gets a bit difficult to communicate. Still, i do love this country and it's one of those places that you would always want to pay a visit to.

This picture is breathtaking:

Then again, wherever I go, I always miss Egypt. Because Egypt is a disease that you can neither live with nor without. Once you've caught the disease, it's there forever, Egypt pulls you back and I'm not just saying this, EVERYONE who has truly lived here for a period not less than a year know exactly what I'm talking about here.

Sara should be here any moment now and I need to get ready to leave. Turkey, Here I come!

P.S. I'm going to miss you, I know it and i hate knowing it.

I Think..

2009-09-01T04:45:00.000+02:00

I think I may be thinking too much
I think of everything all at once
I think of why I'm always the crutch
I think of when we lost that touch

I think of days of carelessness
I think I want that back again
I think of times of happniess
How thinking was so effortless

I think you took me for granted
When you thought I'd tolerate this
I think the world got wrongfully enchanted
I think that love is usually implanted

I think of going on a stage
I think of any stage as a home
I think of singing till I'm 40 in age
I think I possess a dangerous rage

I think you should stop thinking about that
I think that things happen for a reason
I think you should appreciate where you're at
I think thinking should be wide, not flat

I think, sometimes, of buying her coffee
I find pleasure in small gestures
I think surprizes make me happy
I think no one takes care of me

I think of holding my first child
For what a great father I'll be
I think of how much I'll be beguiled
I think of a smile, I'll smile, she'll smile

I think a smile goes a long way
I think that you should smile too
I think if you smile, it will go away
Smile my friend, and everything will smile back at you

:)

She's Twenty two

2009-08-26T13:46:00.000+02:00

Happy Birthday Sweet Thing

Things she told me (2)

2009-08-25T17:24:00.000+02:00

"I am so proud of you by the way. I think you are the cutest person there is"

"I want to see you"

"I love you"

"I'm bored, and I miss spending time with you"

"Please marry me and take me away from here"

"You're the greatest blessing a person could ever have."

"I love you. Very much."

"I can't wait till you're done!"

"Good night baby"

"You're all I'll ever need"

"You are my world. Good night world. I hope I make you happy."

"Thank you for kissing my forehead. And for taking me in your arms.. when I sounded like an 8 year old crying over a broken doll"

"I miss us"

"This is not happening.. You are my everything. This can't happen. I am not letting it happen."

This hurts.

I wish i could turn back time.

but i can't.....

i can't

Beauty

2009-08-23T16:39:00.000+02:00

I want to see beauty through your eyes
would you let me?
would you take me by the hand
to places only you can see
Would you take me to a journey
a world only you can understand
teach me to appreciate
to ponder
maybe wonder
and smile
realise the beauty of small things
things not visible to my sometimes ignorant eyes
for i'm in a bad dream
and i'm longing for your traquilizing hand
to wake me up

Things she told me (1)

2009-08-22T08:26:00.000+02:00

"How do I thank you for being you?"

"You know that "aaah I love you" feeling?"

"I love you"

"I'm tired and I miss you and it's putting me in a bad mood"

"Was just hating you for ignoring me"

"Sorry, was picking dishes for our home"

"I miss you I would cry"

"Mohammed are you ok?"

"I'm sorry I'm calling too much, I'm just worried about you"

"Don't you miss me?"

".... I just want a hug, and have you talk to me while i can actually feel you breathe..."

"I wish I was there"

" You didn't wish me a happy 16th monthiversary, but still i love you"

"I infinitely love you"

"It's one of the most yearning hungers i have ever felt"

"... I'm in bed too.. dream of me. And don't ever leave me. ever."

"I'm so proud of you!"

"I feel lonely and exiled and stranded and homesick and imprisoned"

"I love Egypt"

"I don't know how I thought I would've been better off without you..."

"I love you baby"

"I wish I was with you"

"I'm sorry. I miss you.. and I hurt for you"

"We should've been somewhere where I could kiss you at midnight"

"I miss you ya ma7ammad"

".... and hugs and pampering and never leaving your side, I love you"

"I love you! Thank you and uff.. I love you"

I feel fooled. Robbed.

Delete.

Two

2009-08-18T03:40:00.000+03:00

Two years now

Felt like a decade.

The amount of feelings throughout the two years.

The amount of experiences, tears and laughter. (in need of laughter)

The discoveries, good and bad, self discoveries and otherwise.

One thing remains the same, inside me, it won't go despite the solid reasons for it to go. It just won't. Because it's too strong, stronger than her sugarless coffee that makes her breath smell like the best coffee place you could ever imagine. One that invites you to a journey, a life journey.

I am not home, physically, mentally and emotionally. And I long to be back. Home is where it all started, where the cocoon developed into a pretty butterfly.

My longing for home and the feeling that it's close by, makes me feel relatively happy. But deep inside I know I could have been happier, would have been, should have been.

I am a sea of forgiveness

A land of hope

A sky of purity

The end of the rope

I'm coming home

Would I find open doors,

arms spread out wide,
and smooth floors?

Sometimes things happen that you cannot control, no matter how hard you try. Eventually, ride smoothly, without pressing on the engine too much, and the car takes you to your destination, a bit late, but it takes you there.

I'm a dreamer

I had a dream

and I would like to see it happen

Because I deserve it.

P.S. You was/are the light of my eyes.... happy 2 :)

Death

2009-08-11T01:32:00.000+03:00

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome" - Isaac Asimov

For sometime now i've been unwell, uneasy.
My heart pounds in an undefined time signature. It doesn't beat, it pounds. And it keeps skipping beats, and oh how that hurts, makes me feel as if i died for a split second.

I have a feeling I'm going to die soon, I don't know why. This has never happened to me before, but the feeling and the thought keeps occuring to me making me unable to live a normal life and enjoy my father's visit to Egypt and all the family gatherings.

I'm not afraid of death to be honest, I've never been scared to death of anything because I've been through a lot in my life and i believe in myself, I believe i'm capable of overcoming anything that comes my way.

However, I've had Two worst fears in my life that have always scared me (death isn't one of them), and one of them came knocking at my door a month ago and kept knocking and i never answered. Because i was scared.

Life wasn't that fair to me the past 24 years, but I've never lost faith and stil haven't. Until life gave me a blessing 2 years ago, a blessing i couldn't have ever dreamed of, and that blessing gave meaning to my life, my existance. I couldn't let life take that away from me, not now, not ever.

I'm not afraid to die, I'm only curious becuse I've always had high aspirations, dreams I wanted to achieve and I've always wanted to see myself achieving my dreams. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason, which means that my death will definately have a strong reason behind it, hence, so be it.

free love

Dear me,
Thank you for who you are, for being a strong man, a hint of an artist, a passionate lover and a believer. Thank you for taking difficult-but-solid steps towards happiness. Thank you for putting a smile on the faces of the people you love dearly. And thank you for taking all the bullshit that life had to give you. You will always be remembered for your good deeds.
Thank you
Yours Sincerely
Mohammed J. ELGohary

P.S. Just in case I never get to tell you this in your face: I Love You more than common sense.

Little things I want ...

2009-08-09T04:13:00.000+03:00

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi

I want to wake up everyday
and force a smile on my face
I want to stop running
and move at a moderate pace
I want to love eternally
and hate no one
I want to take you there
to see that sinking sun
I want so many little things
I also want to hear you sing
I want happiness everywhere
and smiles for people to share
I want to sleep easily
counting sheep is so silly
I want things you might not see
small things that make me me

"Reality is something you rise above."- Liza Minnelli

I want to rise above reality
And make up my own

Hope

2009-08-08T05:28:00.000+03:00

"Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Hopefulness is somewhat different from optimism in that hope is an emotional state, whereas optimism is a conclusion reached through a deliberate thought pattern that leads to a positive attitude."

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune
Without the words,
and never stops at all."
- Emily Dickinson

I am a man of desire, a man of passion, a man filled with emotions, not the gay ones, but real emotions.
I have a heart so big, it can fit the whole world, literally.
I hate to hate, i sometimes do, but then i realise that hating is foolish, and i'm not a fool.
I am a man of love, and love is not easy, be it loving your family, your friends or your partner, it's a tough job. Yes, job!
Most of all, I am a man of hope.

Hope is my fuel, my ammunition, my shield against the world and enemies such as pessimism and despair, sadness and loss.

I hope for good days to come
I hope for happiness

I hope for clarity
I hope for faith
I hope for answers to unanswered questions
I hope for gratefulness and gratitude
I hope for hope
I hope for beauty
I hope for laughter and sincere giggles
I hope for success
I hope for self achievement
I hope for small things that make me happy
I hope for understanding
I hope for love
and i hope for more love

I'm not greedy neither am I selfish, I'm hoping for fairness, the world has to be fair to me because I've always been fair to the world.

I don't need sympathy or pity
I'm a persistant man

because i'm hopeful

and i love

i love and will keep loving

till the day i die

"Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have." - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

"Hope is only the love of life." - Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Would you?

2009-08-01T04:24:00.000+03:00

You cry yourself to sleep
Tear after tear
You crawl into your hole
And disappear
You thought you knew what love
was all about
Oh no it's over darling
And your love was running out

Would you miss me if I lost my mind?
Would you kiss me if I said what's right?
Would you fall for me .... if I wrote you a love song?

Those were the words from the song "Would you?" by my very good friend/musician Omar Abou Shady.
I couldn't find a song that i wanted to listen to, and I am a fan of a handful of music genres and musicians, but the state of mind I'm in at the moment is making me not want to listen to anything, because anything reminds me of everything, and I do not want to remember, remembering hurts.
Then I came across this song, would you, such an amazing song, lyrics that are so simple but full of meaning. And it WAS the song i've been subconsciously looking for.

Would you?

There's always a way

2009-07-23T04:17:00.000+03:00

Dear Blog,

I've been waiting for quite a while, the days seem too long for me, I almost get no sleep, and my health condition is going down. It's not that I have anything to do with this, I'm as helpless as everyone else.
When you lose a limb, say your arm, it's not easy to function with the other one alone. It takes time. But I don't want to get used to functioning with one arm. As a matter of fact, I feel like I'm losing a piece of my heart, and this is not metaphorically speaking.
All my life I've been an independent person, but I am a person who is emotionally driven, and when I do fall in love with someone, that someone becomes part of me, part of my life, part of who I am.
I find no reason to what's going on, why things are getting this complicated, neither do I know where this is going, I hope and pray everyday for this to go in the direction I've been longing for for the past two years. I've worked hard for this, so hard, she too has worked really hard for this, and it's just unfair if things go wrong.

Dear blog,
I'm not writing you this to complain, but to ask you to pray for us. We are almost perfect together, we are happy together, and I know that if the whole world is against us, it doesn't matter, because in the end we'll walk down an isle, heads up. Because I know that when there's a will, there's always a way.

Yours Sincerely
Mohammed J. ELGohary
Alexandria, Egypt
23rd of July 2009

Let it be

2009-07-21T05:00:00.000+03:00

What if i was a bird?
Would i be able to fly to places i've never been?
What if i was 10 again?
Would I have made the same choices?
What if this world was different?
Would my life have been the same?
What if my father was a rich man?
Would i have turned out the way i am now?
What if he was a poor man?
Would I have been better or worse?
What if Love never existed?
Would there have been unstable relationships?
What if love wasn't taken for granted?
Would people who fall in love have cherished the feeling more?
What if i were you?
Would i have made the same mistakes you've done?
What if you were me?
Would you have been able to stand my suffering?

I've decided to set the "What ifs" aside, and only do or go with the things that i find suitable for me, I've decided to live with no regrets, therefore i take every step with caution, and I've also decided that I will only do what myself tells me to do. And if the whole world is against me
Let it be....

24

2009-07-17T15:35:00.000+03:00

So, I'm 24 today, one year less than a quarter of a decade. I must say it's not easy, not when things around you are mixed up in a way that you cannot fix. All you can do is sit back and let things get sorted out by themselves.
Confusing?
I've been confused to the extent that i have no idea how to de-confuse myself.
You know when you think you've got it all sorted out, but then one thing slips out of place and everything else gets jumbled up?
you then have to pick up the bits and pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that is life and try to solve it all over again. It's tiring i know.
It will be solved
It will be over soon
Really soon

I am..

2009-07-16T07:41:00.000+03:00

I am the new day
I am always here to stay
I am the crimson sunrise
I am the thing you realize
I am the hug you long for
I am that wide open door
I am the man behind the child
I am the one who makes you smile
I am the wound that leaves no scar
I am that shiny little star
I am a brother, a friend
I am not another trend
I am also responsible
I am also sometimes sensible
I am the life i look forward to
I am a person who is always true
I am that purple sunset
I am your winning bet
I am waiting with hope
I am holding the rope
I am not getting tired
I am glad to be inspired
I am one made out of two
I am the outcome of me and you

"Inspired by Sara El-Sayeh" http://journalling-sunsets.blogspot.com/